Self-care in the apocalypse

Turns out, the apocalypse is really boring. Instead of running around in the dark with greasy faces, we're just... inside a lot. Out the window, everything looks annoyingly normal – no skies on fire, no burning oil drums, no roving gangs of War Boys spraypainting themselves silver. It's all so mundane, and that only makes it harder to wrap our heads around. We don't have a map for how to live through this. Movies and TVs focused more on how useful a bow and arrow would be in the apocalypse than on a well-built set of emotional tools, so we're stuck making it all up as we go along. Problem is, our brains are drawn to the quick-fix solutions, and though ordering something calorie-dense can help light up your pleasure centres in the short-term, the effect wears off over time, leaving you ultimately unfulfilled and horrified at your UberEats total. No judgement – we get our serotonin wherever and whenever we can as we live through capital-H History – but sometimes actual self-care is tougher than hitting "Order Now". Here are some other ways to take care of yourself in the midst of this very mundane apocalypse. Most of these ideas are easier said than done – heck, it took days' worth of energy to summon the focus to write this article, so I get it. But if there's one thing all this has confirmed, it's that there's no silver bullet for self-care; actually looking after your emotional and physical needs requires effort, but you know what? You're worth that effort, so let's talk about taking care of ourselves. Spend time with your thoughts Even as I typed out that headline, I could hear the sound of a thousand tabs suddenly closing, but please – bear with me. One of the omnipresent features of lockdown life is the cognitive fog that makes even ordinary things hard, and part of that is because we've got so much on our minds 24/7. Like a browser with too many tabs open, your whole brain is struggling as it tries to hold onto everything at once, and that's a draining way to live. Scary though it can be, sitting with your thoughts and actually paying attention to them can help you to let them go rather than having them constantly buzzing at the back of your mind. How you do that is totally personal – for me, I find that writing out my thoughts crystallises them, and that helps me put them to rest. You might find that a repetitive action like knitting helps your mind loosen up a little, or doing something gentle, like colouring-in or putting together a puzzle. The key thing here is that you're setting aside that time to pay attention to your emotional needs – the act of buying a candle isn't actually self-care, but lighting one and closing your eyes for a few minutes? That's more like it. However you do it, be patient with yourself, listening to the thoughts and feelings as they come up like you would to a friend who's having a hard time. Set boundaries If you thought sitting with your thoughts was challenging, this one is a doozy. But setting clear boundaries, even they're just for yourself, is just as important in lockdown life as it is in the world at large. Those of us lucky enough to be able to work from home have a lot to be thankful for, but while we're still adjusting to this new paradigm, it's easy for things to fall out of balance. When going to 'work' means sitting down at the desk that's a metre away from your couch, it's easier than ever for work to bleed into your home life, spilling way over the 5pm mark until you're answering emails in front of Masterchef. That arrangement may suit some people, but if you aren't consciously opting in, think about setting a limit for when work ends and your evening begins, 'cause if you're working up until bed, you're not getting the time you need to recover. Boundaries don't just apply to work hours – getting trapped in an endless cycle of feed-scrolling can be just as exhausting in its own way. Social media is built to keep you watching so it can keep serving you ads, and those systems make it hard to recognise when you've had enough. When we're stuck inside the same four walls every day, it can also be dangerously easy to reach for your phone in search of the novelty our brains are craving, but switching gears like that can be particularly detrimental at a time when resetting your focus takes so much effort. You can use any of a dozen apps to stop you opening Insta or Facebook if that's your speed, but the simplest solution is to keep your phone on the other side of the room while you're trying to concentrate. You can set a Pomodoro timer to break up the time between scrolls, or decide to leave your phone until you have lunch – have a play and find the solution that works for you. The goal here is not "productivity" per se; we're just trying to get through our days in the way that leaves us the least exhausted, and constantly losing yourself in a scroll-hole then having to snap back into reality takes energy that's in short supply right now. You don't need to be "productive" Lots of us are no doubt fighting with that voice that insists we should be doing something at all times. But the reality is that free time in lockdown isn't free. We're in the thick of a global cataclysm, and dealing with the cognitive dissonance of things looking normal while our whole way of life is uprooted will take it out of you. Taking time to recharge and look after yourself is 'doing something', and that time should be protected. The hard part is recognising how you need to recharge – like I said earlier, our brains will go for the easy, short-term option when you might benefit more from something that takes a bit more effort. Coffee tastes wonderful and makes us feel great in the moment, but if your sleep patterns are already out of whack, it might worth cutting down on caffeine and think about better bedtime routines. Similarly, scrolling social feeds can take the edge off that sense of isolation, but something as cliche as Zoom drinks or syncing up a movie to watch at the same time as your friends can help foster a deeper sense of connection that so many of us are looking for. Only you know the right move to meet your needs, but be sure to listen to your body – if you find yourself shopping on autopilot and you find it isn't scratching the itch for you, take a moment to think about what it is you're really looking for, and see if there's a better way to meet that need. And on a related note... Remember you have a body This one might seem pretty obvious, but it's easy to forget your physical needs when just being alive leaves us so overloaded. Lockdown, not unlike depression, can be a joy thief – food's not as appetising, drinking water is a chore, and getting up and moving around? Sometimes that seems as likely as high-fiving the moon. Even if our circumstances can leave us feeling numb, though, we still need to do things like eat, and hydrate, and take our meds to keep us going til tomorrow. Some days, all that fundamental self-care stuff seems like too much to do. When you hit that wall, this frank but helpful site walks you through the basics of taking care of yourself one step at a time. The friendly, gentle questions check in to make sure you're meeting the needs that we so easily overlook; if you're meeting those and still finding things hard, the questions move on to emotional needs as well, so can be a really supportive tool for when you're finding it hard to support yourself. Even after 18 months and multiple lockdowns, we're still figuring out how to navigate the strange stresses of life under the novel coronavirus. Effective self-care is tricky at the best of times, but the core of it is this: listen to what your body is telling you; spend some energy on the things that feel right rather than easy; and set aside time to rest. We'll see you when outside is legal again.

More articles

NEW TO MILLIGRAM? LET’S BE FRIENDS